Teeth
by collegebookgirl
Summary: I love her, and just the thought of that makes my knees shake. Now I have to protect her when she needs me most. I'll do it, and yet at the same time, I'll have to love her with my hands tied.
1. Unwanted, Wanted

I hadn't really given much thought as to where I would end up. I highly doubt it would be in some crummy hotel room waiting for a phone call that would probably never happen.

The room was small, its four walls getting closer to me as time moved on. The curtains with stains swayed in the breeze of the tiny air conditioner placed at its side. The tiny twin bed I was sprawled across could barely hold my weight, sinking to the floor as I turned over the side to gaze through the tiny window. It was rainy, as usual, Northern California not holding up to the standards I held it up to be.

I threw my legs over, and braced my arms on either side of me. Grunting, I stood up, ignoring the head rush, and grasped the ancient telephone in my hands. Pressing the numbers I knew way to well, I listened to the several rings before hanging up.

I knew, just as well as Edward did, that he was ignoring my call. It was unfair, he was probably laying on a comfy couch — probably watching the baseball game, Bella curled at his side— while I was stuck here lacking a TV, food, and a working toilet.

I slammed the phone hard on the receiver, somehow hoping he could feel it. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times, and breathed the stale air very deep until I could feel it thick in my lungs. Breathing out, I grabbed my jacket and strode quickly out of the room.

I reached the top of the stairs quickly, and taking three steps at a time, I reached the first floor. The slum male receptionist didn't look up as I walked past him and pushed through the tinted glass door.

The car I was lent gleamed black in the midnight light, and cramming myself into the front seat, I lurched forward, and watched the green shrubbery turn into a blur around me.

Picking up the tiny sliver cell phone in my hands, I called the one person I knew who would pick up, and waited until the phone clicked.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Hey Seth, it's nice to hear you voice," Sarcasm laced my words and I heard a nervous laugh on the other end.

"Jake man, you won't believe what happened! I was going to call you and as soon as I picked up the phone this rabid dog—"

"Yeah, yeah, jumped in front of you and you lost your phone."

"Totally! I was _so _going to call you, and then after that you won't _believe_ who came up to me—" I could tell when Seth was lying. His voice hitched up a few notches, and he started talking like a girl out of a chick flick.

"Let me guess— Lily walked in."

"Yeah man, and you know I can't resist her."

"Fine, whatever." Seth's new imprint had proposed many problems to us, one being that he was never available when we needed him, and when he was free we never liked knowing what he was doing when he _wasn't_.

"So, what do you need?"

"Do you know what's up with Edward?" Seth stuttered before speaking.

"What do you mean 'What's up with Edward?' there's lots of things up with him," Seth's voice was starting to quiver.

"Seth, you know what I mean," I sighed.

"Uh . . . Oh! Lily's home! Gotta go Jake! Bye!"

"No! Wait. . . Seth!" Before I got the chance to say anything else, the line went dead and I snapped the phone shut and threw it behind me. Frustrated both mentally and physically, I pressed my foot further on the petal, my foot almost touching the floor of the car.

Because I missed Renesmaee, and that my heart kind of sped up like a girl just thinking about her, I groaned.

It's not like I can shut these feelings on and off.

She's a part of me, and because I was missing it, I wasn't at the top of my A-game. I wonder if Doc knew that when he sent me all the way out here. The thought of that made me a little more mad, because the Cullens just sent me out here without any explanation, and expect me to wait like a good little boy and not wonder why.

I recalled back five days ago sitting in their perfect, flawless living room, listening to tiny Alice tell me in her trilling voice that I had to leave.

_"It's for her own good," _she said her head motioning up to the floor above us, where Nessie laid silently. Probably sleeping, her long eyelashes resting against her cheeks.

_ "Why, what's wrong with her?" _I asked.

_ "Jacob, there's a problem . . ." _Anger flashed, red hot through me. The idea of Nessie and a "problem" didn't do good things to me. As soon as the anger came it left, and a strong sense of calm poured through my veins.

_ "Stop that!" _I snapped. I didn't need someone screwing with my emotions.

_ "Jacob," _Alice's voice said, turning my attention back towards her._ "You cannot know why, but know that everything will be fine."_

_ "What do you expect me to do, tiny? Have you tell me to leave and not let tell me why? I'm not stupid, I'm not going to leave when there's a threat. Especially with Nessie. You should know that," _I directed the last part at Edward. Looking him straight in the eye , I lurched to my feet and felt the plush carpet press in between my toes as I walked towards the stairs.

_ "Jacob," _Edward started._ "I know this is difficult, but you must know, that this will all make sense in a few days."_

I turned back around and looked down at him, and tried to see right through him, trying to find any sign of a lie, any false note in his breath, and I couldn't. Sighing I turned back to Alice who smiled, and walked towards me. Putting her snow white hands on my shoulder, she whispered silently to me.

_ "Jacob, you must understand this, I need to _not_ see Nessie. That's the only way I know she is safe," _I looked around the sterile white room around me, and suddenly everything felt kind of clear.

Nessie couldn't be seen because she was going to be with me.

That thought made things a little brighter

_ "Oh, I get it," _I said. And I think I frowned a little, knowing that to keep her safe, I wouldn't be able to be around her. The thought of that made my breath heave out of me, and I leaned forward a little.

_ "Jacob, we all know how hard this will be for you," _Edward said placing his icy hand on my shoulder. _"But you're right. This_ is_ what will keep her safe."_

_ "I know. I get it."_

_ "Jacob, also know, Nessie will end up with you in the end. This is how it's supposed to be," _Alicesaid, walking back and taking her place beside Jasper.

I wanted to bang my head against the steering wheel but I didn't, because I'd probably crash into a tree and Edward wouldn't like if I turned his car into a pretzel. The phone in the backseat rang, and I decided it was probably Seth, so I ignored it for a few seconds, then reached behind me and grabbed it. Flipping it open, I barked into the receiver, "What now? This better be important." and I was shocked to hear a trilling voice say right back at me:

"Is that how you answer me Jacob Black?" I was so stunned to hear Alice's voice that I fumbled with the tiny phone in my huge hand and almost dropped it.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, Jacob—"

"Alice, you've made me sit in a minuscule hotel room for three days and _now _you're calling me? There's something wrong with this picture." Alice sighed, heavy into my ear and in her high soprano voice spoke for the first time to me in five days.

"Jacob—"

"No, Alice!" I cut her off. "This isn't fair!" I slammed my foot fully onto the gas petal now. "It's wrong that you think that I _am _some kind of dog that can only be called on when you need me—"

"Jacob Black!" She screeched. "Listen to me, now!"

"Ugh, what?" I said.

"I need you to go back to the hotel."

"Oh, come on Alice!"

"Nessie is there."

Nirvana.

Every muscle in my body locked, and my left foot slammed on the break and my stomach reeled forward and with one hand holding the phone, I turned around on the small road and made my way back to the crappy hotel.

"Alice," My voice was strained.

"Yes?"

"These are the kinds of things I mean when I talk about sharing things ahead of time."

"Oh Jacob, shut up, and get moving."

"Yes, ma'am."

I think for the first time in sixteen years, I cried. Not because I'm a marshmallow and cry about a girl. But because Nessie was waiting for me — _me_ — and I wasn't there.

I have never been so mad at myself until this moment right now. I sat in that room for five days straight, why couldn't I have waited a few more hours? I stopped my pity thinking. There was nothing I could do about that now, except continue driving on the skinny road I was on.

The phone rang once again, and before the first ring ended, I already had it pressed against my ear.

"Yeah," I said.

"Hello Jacob. It's nice to hear your voice," Edward said. Kind of sincere too.

"Yep. Nice to hear you too. What's up?"

"I'm calling to tell you about the situation," His voice burned.

My mind suddenly froze, not worrying about the road I was on, or which direction I was headed. But Edward's voice gave it away.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Nessie is in trouble," He strained. "The Volutri have deemed it necessary to . . . experiment with her."

My body went rigid.

"What?" I whispered harshly.

"They want to know if she can reproduce."

"What?" I couldn't wrap my head around it. Nessie and other things inside of her messed up with my head so bad that I couldn't see the lines on the road clearly. My foot touched the bottom of the floor as I revved the car forward.

"They want to know what she can procreate — if she even can," His voice became a silent snarl. "They want to try different things. Vampire, half-vampire, human, werewolf, shape-shifter," His voice started to crack a little at the end. "They want to try everything and there's _nothing we can do,_" he moaned the last part.

I couldn't make my brain think of anything. There was too much red, too much anger and hostility. All I knew was that I needed to get to that shit hole hotel faster. Nessie was waiting for me there and who knew what _else _could be waiting for her. I forced myself to speak through my teeth.

"Now what do I do?"

"You need to take care of her Jacob," Edward pleaded. "You are my own son, and I trust my daughter with no one else besides you. I know you can take care of her. Keep her safe, watch out for danger. Drive when you need too, sleep when you have to, and hide if it's necessary. Alice will call to tell you where you need to go."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, afraid I would start screaming if I did so I said, "Okay."

"And Jacob?" he asked.

"Yeah," I managed to get out.

"Don't tell her anything, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," Whatever, just let me drive.

"Goodbye, Jacob."

"Bye, Edward."


	2. My Heartbeat

I guess it wasn't that much of a surprise to me. It has always been on the back of my mind, what would those royal bloodsuckers do after they new half breeds exist.

Her body was mature now, a seventeen year old, hormones and all. It was something I had to deal with her questions about boys, dating, and sex. I was her best friend, and of course when she wanted to know something I had to tell her. The Alpha ability I have over the pack didn't work with Nessie.

She may as well be Alpha.

So, after those questions started coming, I started thinking. About what her and I could be. What we could have and what we may not be able to have. I felt overly possesive of her, I didn't want her dating guys, I didn't want anyone touching her. I kept convincing myself that if she was happy that's all that matters, but I couldn't.

I hadn't prepared myself for the feeling I got. I mean the twisted thought of other men inside her, against her will, was making my entire body tremble and my heart start throbbing in my chest.

When I saw the sign to the hotel, blinking rapidly in the nightlight, I pulled in quickly, trying to park as straight in between the lines as I possibly could. As I got out of the car and ran towards the entrance, I saw a familiar, beautiful face smiling on the park bench next to the door.

"Hey Jake!" Nessie exclaimed and ran towards me. Like the move we've done so many times, she wrapped her tiny legs around my waist, and nestled her head between my neck and shoulder. I put my hand softly on the back of her head, feeling her soft curls, and pressed my head against her head and breathed deep.

I had never missed home so much until right now.

"Jake, I missed you," She whispered.

"Me too Ness," My voice quivered a little, emotions running to strong. So I cleared my throat a little and pulled back. Nessie's eyes had tears brimming in them, she blinked and some fell down her cheeks, and I wiped them away. They hurt too much.

"Jake, can we not do this again?"

"Yeah Ness," I chuckled. "Never again. I missed having you around to tease."

"Ugh, whatever," She rolled her eyes and hugged me close. I knew we should get inside, every Alpha sense was telling me to, so I gently detached her body from mine, and set her lightly on her feet.

She pouted, but didn't say anything. I grabbed her bags behind her, and opened the door for her.

"It's okay Ness, just go inside," She huffed but cracked a smile and walked through the lobby, and the creepy man behind the desk winked at her. I was all about ready to jump across that desk and grab his throat, until Nessie reached behind her and grabbed my hand. It was almost as if my hand was meant to hold her tiny one, all soft and slim, and it was meant to stay there.

So I glared at the man, and he went back to doing whatever the hell it was when we entered.

"Tell me Jake, what's new?" Nessie asked. I missed her voice.

"Nothing much, the usual."

"So, you gonna tell me what's going on?" It was hard. Edward told me not to say anything, but I couldn't _not _tell Nessie anything when she asked for it.

"I don't really know," Good answer. "I think we just have to stay here for awhile and see how this plays out," Nessie nodded silently, her eyes far away, pondering something.

"Do you know anything?" I asked. Her eyes flashed up immedtly, and her cheeks turned pink, and she shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, you know," she fumbled for her words. "I was just hearing stuff. Grandpa Carlisle has been talking to Dad a lot lately and I don't know what's going on. Just stuff. About me. And I know Dad and Mom are scared. But they told me to I had to be with you," She looked down for a bit and then strained her head to look up at me. "Which I was kind of happy about."

She was going to be the death of me.

"It's gonna be alright Ness," I said as I looked at her heart-shaped face. "I promise, I won't let anything happen to you," Sighing, I opened the door to the room, and set her bags on the floor. As I looked up and saw Nessie sprawled across the only bed in the room, smiling innocently back up me, I knew that the problems were just beginning.

The problem wasn't even with the Volutri, or with her knowing more than she was letting on. It was that I was unable o stop myself from the dirty thought I got when I saw her like that. All smiling, and motioning for me to lay down next to her. I'm my own worse fucking enemy, and I knew it.

"Ness, I think I'll go take a shower," If I could be anymore of a little bitch then I was now I think I'd hit myself.

"Um, okay Jake," She shot up quickly, and bit her lip like she always does when she's nervous.

Before I did anything else stupid or embarrassing, I hastily went in to the bathroom and locked it silently behind me. Edward and Bella had trusted me with their daughter, and I shouldn't abuse that trust like this. I should be able to ignore my unnecessary male hormones of mine, and focus on keeping her happy and safe.

Like I'd done for the past six years of her life.

I slipped in to the shower and pushed every raunchy thought of mine outside of my brain and focused on what needed to do. We needed to go shopping. I needed clothes and I'm sure she needed girl shampoo or something.

I stepped out of the shower quickly and towel dried my hair. Realizing I forgot my clothes, I tied the towel around my waist and walked out of the room. Nessie was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, hearing me enter, she turned her heads towards me.

"Forgot my clothes," I said sheepishly, and shrugged my shoulders.

"Heh," She said raising her eyebrow and turning her body so it faced the wall opposite her. What the hell was that about. Grabbing my clothes I made my way back towards the bathroom I looked down to see if I had anything strange on my body. Nothing unusual. Maybe she was mad because I insisted to sleep on the floor.

She was mad at me.

I don't remember the last time she was mad at me. I think it was back when she was around three, which was about five years ago. I don't even remember what she was mad at me for. Usually when she's mad she gets over it quickly and we'll be back to laughing and cracking stupid jokes at each other.

But this? She's never turned away from me. Even when I am being a total ass and ignorant of it. So I quickly slipped on my boxers and my t-shirt, and in my haste to get out quickly I opened the door to quickly and it slammed against the wall. I head the bed squeak as Nessie got up and came over towards me.

"Jacob? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, everything's great! The door was just jammed," I lied. I had to — my dignity was running thin.

"Oh, okay," She said running her hand through her hair.

So. Beautiful.

"Yeah, so I'm done if you want to hop in," I added, trying to squeeze my body through the space between the door jam and Nessie. Yeah, not a bright idea.

I know, I'm an idiot.

"Okay, thanks Jake," She smiled her stunning heart-breaking smile, and making my knees go a little weak. She sauntered into the bathroom her hips swaying and as she shut the door behind her, I hit myself on the side of the head.

What the hell is wrong with me?

It wasn't even the fact that I was stuck in a crappy hotel room, or that the Volturi wanted to kill my soul mate, or that they wanted to see my head on one of their ancient silver platters. It was that I couldn't control my man hormones while Nessie was in the shower, and how whenever she walked past me I had to clench my fists and close my eyes just to stop myself from grabbing her and kissing her.

It was never like this before. Back in Forks, we would run and hunt together, and never had I imagined how her mouth would taste or how her hand would feel in mine, or how her warm breath would feel against my face in the winter chill.

Which is why it took me off guard when these feelings snuck up on me a few hours ago.

I didn't have my brothers or Billy, or anyone to explain this to me. But somewhere between seeing her last three months ago and now, something changed and now all I could think about was how great she probably looked right now in the shower.

It's sick, I know.

But I can't help myself, she's just so appealing right now.

Especially when she walks out, hair all dark and wet from the water, clothed in one of my old band t-shirts, and shorts. It's like she came from the depths of my cryptic mind and immerged all perfect and beautiful.

"I'm done," she announced as she headed towards her duffle bag.

"Erm, okay, yeah," I blurted out.

I was sprawled out on the bed but as she turned towards her bag, I quickly hopped off the bed and started staring at the stationary set as if to find anything interesting.

"Jake?" she asked.

"Yeah," I turned my head and faced her. My hands were awkwardly twisting themselves around each other. _Calm yourself Black, _I scolded myself.

"Are you ready for bed?" Her hazel eyes stared right at me, and for a second I had the fear that she could see all of my thoughts. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Just because I had fantasies, didn't mean she had Edward's ability. The volutri would stand nothing against him at this moment.

"Yeah, you get the bed, I'll get the floor." I moved past her, gently brushing her shoulder. I reached down to the cabinet beneath the TV, and grabbed the itchy wool blanket that lied there.

"Jake, you don't need to do that, we can just share," She pointed out.

I froze.

Nessie and I in a bed together? That was like giving matches to a pyromaniac, dangerous and avoidable.

"Ness, I'm sure you've had a horribly long trip and need some solid rest, and I'd only make that difficult for you."

"No you wouldn't. You sleeping on the floor would keep me up all night. We don't know what's on these floors and they look like they haven't been properly cleaned in a long time," I turned from my safe vision spot of the dirty cabinet to face her. She was everything my dreams could have conjured, all soft and lovely.

"Please sleep with me," She almost whispered.

And just like when she was younger, I gave in.

"Okay," I muttered. With the folded blanket in my hands, I grabbed a few extra pillows. Reluctantly, I made my way over to the bed. Nessie had a sweet smile on her face like she won a prestigious race, and it filled me with joy that me sleeping next to her did that.

She knew the exact things that made my heart beat.

I laid the pillows in the middle of the bed between Nessie and I.

"Jacob, come on, is this entirely necessary?" She asked.

"I kick, and trash a lot when I sleep," I lied. "Hey, I'm just protecting you like you Father told me too," I put my hands in the air in mock surrender.

"Ugh, whatever Jake," She muttered and turned and faced the wall.

"Hey don't be like that, it's just that," I struggled for words. My imprint was upset at me and I wanted so badly to make it better again. "Well, we can't sleep together like we used to."

"Why?" She asked in one harsh little word.

"Because, we're older now, and we haven't slept like this since you wore three years old. It's going to be different now," I struggled to make this explanation as innocent and simple as possible. I gently laid myself on the bed, trying not to disturb her and stared at the tiny cracks I the ceiling.

"Okay Jake," She sighed and peaked through the openings in between the pillows. "I'm sorry I got so upset," She wispered.

"It's okay honey," I said. She quickly turned away. _Great with the honey thing, Black. _I leaned over and turned oh the light, quickly surrounding us in darkness.

I needed to control myself. Even though these feelings were new, and like my reemerging teenage hormones, I needed to get them under wraps. I was a grown man, and Nessie's entire family were depending on me to keep her safe, not start a hormone fest with their pride and joy.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I wish there was someone to help me right now. Laying here so close to her yet miles away from anything I was feeling was starting to physically hurt me. My chest was aching and my lungs couldn't get enough air. She was just the center point of everything for me. Gravity, oxygen, and you know, the essentials like my soul mate, and true love.

I turned my head over to her in the darkness. From my vantage point I could make out her long lashes resting against her cheek and the tiny intakes of breath she made. She was just so beautiful and everything I could ever imagine in someone, that sometimes I wondered if my heart could take it.


	3. My Love, My Life

I woke up slowly, my joints achy from the same positions, and I started to stretch before I heard groaning from the other side of the bed. Being by yourself for three months makes you tend to forget there are other people in the world. I looked over to the side of me and saw the most beautiful sight my eyes have ever witnessed.

My Nessie, my girl, my life, all bundled up on the side of pillows, and one arm reaching over them as if to grab me. Her hair splayed all over the pillow her head rested on.

I think my heart stopped for a moment.

I quietly got up, the best way any six foot eight werewolf could do and made my way to the bathroom. I made my way towards my bag and grabbed a shirt and some jeans and sneaked one last look at the girl who had my heart than reluctantly turned towards the bathroom.

It was a cheap hotel bathroom, no extra soaps or nice fluffy towels. I would treat Nessie to a nice hotel, but Alice advised me to stay on the down low, so crummy hotels were it.

I splashed some cold water on my face and it felt refreshing so I ended up just dunking my head under the cold faucet, and let the cold water wake me up. I grabbed a towel to my right and let the scratchy, over-washed cotton dry my face. As I gazed into the mirror, and towel dried my short hair, I decided I would phase today and see how my pack was doing.

The pack had grown in size since it's initial three person party. Quil joined, and then not long after that, Embry decided to tag along, and then came Jared. I didn't want to put a limit on who could be apart of my pack and who couldn't, but five was enough for me, and sometimes more than I could handle.

I pulled off my shirt and, suddenly, the door handle turned open and there stood Nessie.

Staring at me.

She didn't do much though her eyes spoke volume, and she continued to stare, until she closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

"Jacob, next time can you just like, lock the door?" She turned hastily and shut the door behind her. I heard mumbling outside the door and I hurriedly pulled my shirt and pants on, and brushed my teeth. _Great, she's pissed_, was all I could think.

I opened the door to find Nessie patiently waiting with her clothes in her hands. She took a quick intake of breath and didn't meet my eyes.

"I'm going to take a shower," she calmly stated.

"Okay, well, I'll get our bags ready," I responded. She nodded to herself than slipped by me to shut the door. I quickly heard water run and made my way towards our bags on the floor. I threw them on the bed and zipped them shut and decided to make the bed. It was courtesy, and if it's one things I'll always remember from my Mom, it was little acts of kindness that made everyone's day brighter.

I heard water running still so I laid down and flipped towards through the stations until I landed on the local news. Mind-numbingly I watched until Nessie came out of the bathroom with her dirty clothes in her hands.

"We're going to have to do laundry soon," she pointed out.

"We're heading out today, so we can try to find another hotel with a Laundromat."

"Jake," She conflict-idly started. I silently wondered to myself what I could do to help her.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry if I'm acting rude, and strange, I'm just not feeling well lately," Her face scrunched up at the word rude. I got up off the bed and made my way towards her.

"Do you need a doctor or something?" I put my hands against her face.

"No Jake," She smiled and leaned into my touch. "All I'll never need is you," Before I choked out something embarrassing, I cleared my throat.

"Well," I said before I unwillingly put my hands at my sides "We better get going." I grabbed both out bags and Nessie opened the door ahead of us.

"Jake, where are we going to next?" She looked up at me.

"Anywhere the rode takes us," I said with a smile.

"You sound like such a biker when you say stuff like that Jake," I looked down at her and saw her smiling towards the floor.

"Hey, your talking to the proud owner of two motorcycles. I can't help it," She turned her face back up towards mine.

"Don't worry. I love a life on the road," That's why this girl was mine.

We walked down the concrete steps in the chill of the cool Northern California air, and made our way to the check out desk. The shitty male receptionist smiled at Nessie than saw me and turned towards his paperwork.

That's right — she's with _me_.

While I dealt with his crappy service and little glances at my girl, Nessie just pulled out a few maps and stuck them in her back pocket.

"We all set?" She asked as she quietly approached.

"Yep," I leaned down and grabbed our things. With one last glare at the idiot behind the desk, we made our way out to the Vanquish I few feet ahead.

"Seriously?" Nessie asked with a smile.

"Seriously." I said.

"It's funny how they want us to stay low, yet they give us a racecar," She pointed out.

"It's made for quick getaways Ness," I smiled back.

"Oh, now I see."

I set the bags down next to the trunk and fumbled around in my pocket until I found the keys. Opening the doors, I motioned for Nessie to hop in the front seat. After putting the bags in the trunk, I quickly slid in the front seat and, and putting the key in the ignition, made the car come to life.

There was something about cars that always appealed to me. Maybe it was the raw strength of them, the massive horsepower, or the fact that Nessie thought my fascination with cars was utterly unique.

But as I pulled out of the parking lot, Nessie turned to me and said the one thing I didn't know she was aware of until this moment.

"Remember that guy back there?" My hand gripped the steer wheel tighter.

"Yeah, what about him?"

"He had no competition on you," And just like that she said the one thing that could make me feel better about everything.

We drove for another three hours, making small talk and just enjoying each others company. With Ness there's never an awkward silence, it's always pleasing and enjoyable.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. I didn't want to admit it but my stomach had been growling for the past four miles.

"Sure," she smiled up at me.

"Well, where do you feel like eating?"

"I don't know any fast food restaurants, remember? High fructose corn syrup and fatty acids," I rolled my eyes. I was quick to forget the intense diet that the Cullens had her on.

"Well, um, how about we hit up a grocery store and pick up _healthy_ foods?"

"Same old, same old," She said waving her hand. "Take me to your favorite place to eat."

My perfect woman.

"Okay than," I responded. I pulled into the nearest Arby's, and grabbing us two sandwiches, went back to the car to give Nessie probably the worst food she could indulge in.

I watched closely over my sandwich as she took the first bite.

"Erm," She sighed. "This is like the best thing ever. Don't ever make me eat whole grain again."

"I can't Ness," I smiled. "This is a one time thing only."

"Fine," she muttered. "Just let me enjoy."

I chuckled and let her eat in peace.

After we were done, we continued on our journey. Nessie leaned over and grabbed my hand with her small white one. My hands were almost triple in size and rugged with calluses and scars while hers were perfect little doll hands.

It occurred to me that if Nessie and I were objects she would be a digital watch synced with world clock, and I would be a snow globe, full of meaningless, empty memories.

I wish we were more similar.

Yet we couldn't be more alike.

After driving for multiple hours, and with the sun setting I pulled into a cheap Motel 6 and parked the car towards the back.

Didn't want anyone to steal Edward's wheels.

"Jake?" Nessie asked quietly as we walked towards the entrance.

"Yeah, Ness?" I replied.

"How much longer do you think we'll have to run?" The air was cold and her question swayed in the breeze before finally settling.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I guess until you parents call us and tell us to head home." She nodded to herself and we continued walking.

Luckily the receptionist was female and I didn't have to deal with the constant glances at my girl. As I asked the woman to find us a room with two bedrooms, Nessie slammed the entrance door and sat on the bench that awaited outside.

I made may way outside to where Nessie sat with her arms crossed over her chest.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She said standing up. "Room all set to go?"

"Yep," I smiled. Grabbing the bags, We walked down to the room that held two beds and an old color TV.

Thank God for the two beds.

I put the bags on the first bed I encountered, and hearing the door shut behind me, I felt Nessie's tiny arms wrap themselves behind my waist. Feeling her cheek press against my back, I turned myself around so that we were facing each other.

Nessie continued to press her face against my middle.

"Hey," I said, tugging on her face to let me see her eyes. What's wrong baby? "Hey," I said, and she leaned her face up towards me. "What's wrong?"

"It's just —" She started, conflicted. "Remember that girl back there?"

I nodded.

"Ness, you can tell me anything," I reminded her.

Nessie looked down ashamed.

"I didn't like the way she looked at you," She mumbled, almost impossible to make out.

"Aw Ness," I said, and drew her in my arms.

"I'm sorry — it's just — something's have been making me upset lately, and that was one of them. I don't understand it."

"Ness," I struggled to form words to what I wanted to say. "She, I, I didn't even notice her."

Things were moving too quickly all at once. Me expressing this, her hands on my lower back, the ache in my baody to pull her closer, closer.

Things were spinning all out of my control and I didn't like it.

"Okay," She sighed, and pressed her forhead against my midsection, and then strained her neck to look at me. "I'm going to take a shower okay?"

Whatever you need, I'll give you anything.

She pulled away from me, and went to grab things from her bag and soon I was left alone.

I istened to her rustle around the bathroom and listend to her quick breaths, and the water running.

I laid still, unmoving, on the bed.

Things were out of my reach. All fuzzy, and unimaginable. Where was my control? Where was that silent promise I made to myself? It's hard to protect her from all things when it's me who she needs to be protected from.

Her body, was so close. So perfect.

I flipped over onto my stomch and willed my brain to overpower my lower extremeties.

_Get control of yourself Black_, I growled at myself.


	4. The Heartbreaking Truth

Nessie came out of the shower clothed in my ratty t-shirt that went to her knees and sweatpants.

I think she was more beautiful than she realized, all soft and copper-haired.

I watched her as she put her dirty clothes in her bag and the way her wrists bent and turned.

"Are you going to phase tonight?" She asked, turning towards me.

"I was planning on it, but you can stay here if you like," I offered.

"No—" she started, than sighed. Her eyes shone like amber. "I like to see you phase, Jake, it makes me feel like I'm home."

My girl.

"Well, let's go then," I announced. She smiled up at me.

As we made our way into the cold California night, I shrugged out of my jacket and put it over her shoulders.

I like seeing her clothed in my stuff.

It made me feel like she was mine.

Suddenly, I felt her small cold hand grasp my huge warm one, and I decided I could spend the rest of my life holding her hand and never get tired of it. Hand in hand we walked into the depths of the midnight forest until our only illumination was the moonlight.

Nessie's skin glowed like a blank canvas, and the stars twinkled on her skin.

I've never been one for poetry and sappy romance shit — I could never wrap my head around it — but something about this girl and her entire being seeming to arouse this thing inside of me I couldn't quite contain.

She made me want to write obscure poetry in romantic translation.

I unwillingly pulled from her grasp and — almost missing it — saw her frown out of the corner of my eye.

Something deep within my stirred.

I walked in to the middle of the clearing.

Nessie started to follow.

"No," I motioned for her to stop. She was hurt.

I'd die to make it better again.

"I don't want you to get hurt," I explained. She nodded and turned around.

I snuck a quick glance at Nessie from behind.

So fucking perfect.

I'd never admit it aloud, but that was my favorite part about her. I mean, her face was absolutely beautiful — crafted be angels — yet the way her lower back dipped in and then expanded into her hips was the most arousing part of her body.

My glance lasted a little too long.

She was certainly quiet, and as I stripped down she took a quick intake of breath, and rolled her shoulders.

My stomach contracted itself.

And like the move I've been doing since I was sixteen, I shuddered and let my instincts take control. I felt my skull expand, starting to stretch it's bones, and then my hands contracting, spilling into paws. I shook my head, and stretched my hind legs.

I felt a cool hand brush up against my ruff.

"Hey Jake," she grinned. I leaned into her touch, and rolled my tongue out at her.

"Jake!" She screeched. I barked out a laugh.

"Jake, you wouldn't do that when your human, why would you do it now?" She said in mock anger.

I did puppy dog eyes.

She rolled hers.

All of a sudden images —strong a potent, like a landside — came barreling down towards me. Men all crowded around my dad who lied on the floor motionless, and not breathing, Leah screaming in despair, Seth hopping over Billy's midsection to perform CPR.

It was too much.

Too much.

"Jake —" Nessie grabbed my face to bring it down to her level. "Jake, what's wrong," she panicked.

_I'm sorry man, _Seth crooned out.

"Jake — come on," She was on the verge of some sort of hysteria.

It distracted me.

I looked down at her face.

_Jake, _Seth choked out. _I tried everything. The paramedics came and they weren't able to do anything I'm _so _sorry._

The only thing I could think about was that I hadn't been able to say goodbye to my Dad.

My Dad who raised me and taught me everything I know about being a man was gone.

I wasn't there with him.

I turned away, out of Nessie's hands.

She didn't need this.

So I grabbed my clothes in my jaw and went behind an underbrush of ferns. When I phased back, I braced myself against the large oak tree. Nessie couldn't witness this sadness in me. She needed a protector, someone composed, and level-headed.

I didn't want her to see this.

So I took a deep breath and spread my fingers against the warm bark of the oak. I'd never been so aware of everything than in this one moment. The air was alive with something electric and deep within my heart.

I slipped my clothes on inaudibly, and after I was done I heard Nessie round the corner.

"What's wrong?" She asked urgently, but with gentleness.

I wanted to feel something — anything. Something physical, something that people could see on my skin. Loneliness is an invisible disease so people don't understand your pain as well as they understood those with broken legs or cut up faces.

Nessie held her arms out and wrapped them around me.

I felt her little hands run under the hem of my shirt as she splayed her them across the expanse of my back.

_Tell me what's wrong, baby. _She whispered.

I couldn't help the choke my body came out with at that moment. Like ice was logged in my throat, and my eyes were seeing ruined watercolor, I buried myself in Nessie's hair.

I let her scent envelop me, as I choked out dry sobs.

"Oh, my Jake," Nessie cried silently.

"I didn't get to say goodbye Ness," I dismayed. "He died and I didn't even get to say how much I loved him."

"Jake, it's alright," she said.

"I know," I said. I had her, and that was all I ever truly needed, but Billy was always such a strong figure in my life, it's hard to imagine him not there anymore.

_Let me help you._ Nessie whispered again.

"You're doing more than you know Nessie," I offered a broken smile.

She didn't smile back.

"I wish I could understand loss Jacob," She said pronouncing my full name. "But I can't, All I know is that if I were ever to lose you, I wouldn't understand how to go on living." I grudgingly pulled away from her embrace.

I grabbed her hand.

"Let's go to bed Ness," I stated.

We walked back through the forest the way we came. Nessie gripped my hand hard, and if I was just a regular human man, it would probably hurt, but for now it just felt right.

"Thank you," I silently added.

"You're welcome," She responded.

The room was in the same way we left it, plain and with only few signs of life. I wish I was at home in my warm bed with Nessie under my arm, safe and away from danger, and Billy yelling at me to do the dishes.

I want it all.

But sometimes you can't get what you want.

"Jake," Nessie said as we walked in the room. "Let's sleep together tonight."

"But—"

"I don't care about modesty or that you thrash too much," She said "You need me, and I want to be there for you like you've always been there for me."  
>I love her so much. I wish she knew just how much.<p>

My mind was full of moments I was hyperaware of.

Nessie's hands running through my hair,

My breath on her neck,

her smell of fresh rain on grass.

Nothing seemed real anymore, all frayed at the edges like an old photograph. I kept recalling moments of Billy, and tried to decide what he would want me to feel like right now.

"_You'll be alright Jake_," he called out to me from the living room. Our house was small so I heard him easily, though I was doing dishes. "_One day you're gonna find someone and they're gonna think the sun shine's out of your ass_," he always said man things like this to me after Bella left.

I wish I told he was right. I think he knew though.

Nessie sighed and pulled her face away from the crook of my shoulder.

"Are you better?"

"I have you don't I?" She blushed and put her chin on my shoulder.

"Jake," she pondered. "I don't think Billy would want you to be upset. I think he would be proud of you, and being you was enough for him, and will continue to be."

"I agree Ness," I hugged her body closer to me. After a few moments, she spoke.

"Jake, I want you to know something," she said pulling away from me.

"What is it honey?" Her eyes were lit alive like liquid ember.

"If you _die_—" she choked. "I — I won't be able to live."

Anger

rage

indignation.

"What — what?" I sputtered.

"If you die, I — I'll have too die too."

"Ness, don't talk to me like that!" I pushed her arms away from my body even though it hurt. "What do you think you're family and I are doing here? Protecting you just so you can kill yourself if I die?"

"Jake, I can't live without you — you have to understand," She pleaded.

"No Renesmee," I said in my Alpha voice. She succumbed unwillingly. "You will not kill yourself if I die."

"But Jake," she looked up at me "I just love you so much — it's just — sometimes, I can't imagine living without you it hurts so much."

"You think I don't know that?" I asked bitterly. "I need you like a fucking pulse Nessie, it pains me to think about leaving you for a few hours. I —," taking a deep breath I started over. "You need to promise you'll live for me." She shook her head. "No matter what."

"Jake," she started. "I don't want a life that doesn't have you in it."

"I'll always be in it Ness," I said. "Just like Billy's still in mine. He left his imprint, just like I'd leave mine."

She got up from the bed and wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face in her copper curls.

"I'm sorry Jake," Nessie apologized. "You didn't need that, it's just after what just happened with Billy, I'm all nervous that your going to leave me suddenly and I won't know what to do."

"I'll never leave you Ness," I swore. "I'll always stand with you."


End file.
